we blazed a joint to pass the time...

Moving

2009-10-08T19:49:00.000-07:00

Today is October 8, and in exactly one month I will have worked a full week at my new job in Mississauga. I've landed a full-time CSR position with TD Canada Trust which is great, because I will be salaried and have guaranteed hours and do not include as many evenings.

It has been a couple months that I have been wanting to move home, but now that it's all happening, I am experiencing mixed feelings of both happiness and sadness. I am so happy, because I have completed my university education, and I'm going to move home! When I left to come to school in Waterloo when I was just 19, it was never with the intention that Kitchener/Waterloo would become my permanent residence, and so I am happy to go back to Brampton. My family is in Brampton, Daniel is in Brampton and a couple close friends are in Brampton and Toronto. I get to be close to my parents who I've missed so much and just "feel like I'm home." I haven't had that feeling any other time except for those when I've arrived back into my home in Brampton, and I'm so happy that on October 31st when I get that feeling, it won't be coupled with the sadness of knowing that I have to leave again too soon.

But the sadness... I'll be missing the independance I've learned since moving away in first year, and I'll miss the apartment that I've come to make my home. This has been the apartment that Sarah and I have lived in for over a year and a half, and in a way it has become my home which I will miss. Sarah has already moved to Niagara Falls which makes leaving this apartment sad, but also marking the end of a chapter in my life, although I'm finding it hard to articulate what that chapter is. I left home and went out on my own, and I choose to go back because right now that's where I feel like i belong.

This post is really just me getting my feelings out on "paper" so that I can work through these mixed emotions. I know that moving home is going to be a good thing for me to do, and I know that I will be happier living my house with my family and being closer to Daniel so that we don't have to do long distance anymore!

Cycling

2009-09-04T14:11:00.000-07:00

Recently there has been a lot of media published surrounding the highly politicized mode of transportation: cycling. Especially since this week a bicycle courier was killed this week in Toronto, and the CEO of Invest Toronto has been charged, although it is not yet known how the cyclist was killed...hopefully we will find this out soon but as of yet we can only speculate. You can find the article here. On September 1st, cyclists protested and remembered him by screaming "murder" and blocking up traffic in the middle of rush hour, bringing traffic to a standstill.

Consequently, the Star has started publishing a series on cycling in the city with 5 parts each covering a different issue of cycling in each of the 5 parts. As someone who cycles to work every day, I am really glad to see that the issue of "drivers vs. cyclists" is finally getting some media attention. Last month, I posted a link on my facebook profile regarding a horrible incident in Ottawa where 5 professional cyclists were run over by someone in a minivan. At leat 2 of them ended up in critical condition, and all 5 were in designated cycle lanes with helmets on.

That was such a horrible thing for me to read, and I thought that it should really be getting major news coverage, but it did not. The article I've linked above was the longest most detailed account I could find, and yet I have had difficulty finding out if those cyclists survived or what has happened to the driver who has since been charged.

I have so often been intimidated by drivers in their cars who somehow have no patience for cyclists, nor can they understand that we have equal right to the road as they have. With roads becoming more and more congested and the cost of gas/maintaining a vehicle becoming prohibitivly expensive, bicycling is a practical cost efficient method of transportation. It keeps you in shape, gets you to your destination in a reasonable amount of time, and it's really quite pleasant to be out in the outdoors rather than idling in a car.

The blatant attempted murder of those 5 people in Ottawa and the death of the cycle courier really says to me that we need to be paying more attention to what is happening to cyclists on the road. Motorists need to be accountable- they don't check their blind spots, or they even try to run you off the road sometimes. It is so easy to get run over when you're cycling that sometimes when I hear a car coming up behind me I am praying inside that they'll just pass me and not hit me. As a cyclist it's all about defensive driving (as opposed to offensive) because you have assume that the motorists don't see you.

The thing about this whole issue that really gets to me is that other people can have so much rage towards people who are bicycling on the street that they can do such horrible things like run them over and kill them! Life is precious, and each person who is riding or driving has people they love and want to spend their time with each other, and if you kill someone you take that away from them forever. Death cannot be erased, cyclists should be able to ride on the road safely without fear of dying a senseless and painful death!

What needs to happen is that everyone needs to share the road, so there needs to be education involved in order to make this happen.

Articles in the Mean Street Series:

Bike Vs. Car Battle... I definitely didn't know that cyclists are entitled to take up a whole lane!

Sharing the Road

Making the City Safer

Responses to the series

What a Cycling City Looks like in Copenhagen- heaven...

It's late now, but I'll have to post some pictures of Copenhagen tomorrow if I have time!

Skillet Beef and Beer Stew

2009-08-30T15:41:00.001-07:00

Feeling somewhat inspired after watching Julie and Julia the other day, our experience cooking beef stew tonight had me thinking about how i would love to blog about this experience. The reason being that I rarely ever cook beef and my knowledge of different cuts of meat and how they should be cooked is very limited. Cooking is a fun activity that my sister and I engage in together all the time, and learn how to make a new recipe almost every week, although we generally stick to basic meats like chicken... there i dark or there is white meat two options, limitless ways to cook the chicken and it will taste good.

But, with pork and beef, it's a whole seemingly limitless variety of different cuts, each needing to be cooked a particular way in order to be good. You cannot fry a roast and get nice tender pieces of meat, the roast has to be slow cooked or cooked with a lot of liquid. Needless to say, when Sarah began to read the recipe to me, it sounded delicious and I wanted to try it although we had no idea what the cut of beef should be. It called for "12oz beef round roast cut into cubes", which we wrote down word for word on our grocery list. What we ended up buying was "Outside round oven roast." Now, I'm not sure about exactly how many different beef cuts there are, but I wouldn't be surprised to find out that the use of the word "outside" is actually important and that it means it need to be cooked for really long time to be good. That's the reason why I'm even making note of the distinction between what the recipe asks for and what we bought!

Even just choosing our piece of meat was an adventure! We got to Sobey's and conveniently the cut of meet which we bought was on sale! That was a good start, but then we had to choose our piece and we were clueless again! I don't know what to look for when choosing a good cut of beef, but we ended up choosing the piece that had the least visible fat because we were going to trim it off anyways although I had the fear that maybe this will end actually having a negative effect on the moistness and tenderness of the beef after it had been cooked.

Anyways, we had our meat, and that's one thing done: we've chosen the right cut of meat and it was on sale, and we think we've picked a good piece.

So, we cut up the meat into cubes that are a "stew" size, and then we made the stew. The stew smelled really good as we were cooking it, but I thought that maybe the meat would not get to cook long enough to absorb a lot of flavor, and we were right. The meat turned out good, it was tender, but it was not as flavorful as I would have liked. This probably could have been achieved by tenderizing the beef first and then, if we had had more time, we could have cooked the stew for longer.

Sarah is set on getting a slow cooker now though which will be awesome because we can throw together slow cooker recipes in the morning and have nice tender beef dishes ready!

So.... how was our overall beef experience? Well, thankfully, we bought the right cut of beef which we cut up with no major events! Overall, I would have just wanted the beef to have had more flavor, but that can be attributed to the short cooking time, not spicy enough sauce and (maybe) that we didn't tenderize the beef first.

We'll try again, and I'll let you know how it goes!

2008-07-17T21:16:00.001-07:00

i would add to this video with my own commentary, but RAN says it all for me... especially with my previous post on food shortages, and the riots that are happening because of it. We need to boycott fuel companies which are using Ethanol and taking food away from hungry people to power our cars. What we need is an electric car.

Take it away!

Ecoholic 2

2008-07-17T20:43:00.000-07:00

one more thing about Ecoholic:

in discussion of the eco-friendly options for birth control, i was disappointed to see that the diaphragm was not mentioned.

The diaphragm is the ultimate eco-friendly birth control option... almost no waste

she spends significant time talking about the environmental impact of the hormone residue from hormonal birth control, and ignores the health implications the birth control has... she mentions the other poisions we find in our makeup, our skin cream, or bug spray, but does not discuss the health problems that can come from hormonal birth control...

Essentially, vasil lists off the problems with hormonal birth control but does not offer the diaphragm as an option... of course, there could be problems with the spermicidal jelly. I'm not too sure. However, the diaphragm itself is excellent with respect to waste.

Ecoholic

2008-07-17T20:04:00.000-07:00

So, this week I started working at Starbucks! Which, can I mention, is just amazing because they are such an awesome company.

I had "coffee school" today, which was a workshop where we learned about the "Starbucks Experience" and we learned about everything that the company does with regards to Corporate Social Responsibility.

One of the most amazing things that I learned today about Starbucks was the relationship they have with the farmers who grow their coffee. Starbucks actually goes into countries frequently and works together with farmers to help them develop sustainable growing practices, helping the farmers learn how to grow the finest coffee beans, and then, because of the quality of the beans being produced, pays the farmers premium prices for their coffee beans.

What is most remarkable though, is the way which Starbucks will help out the farmers if there is a time of need. We watched a video today about a farm that was struck by a catastrophic natural disaster, and so, within 24 hours Starbucks has freed up one million dollars within the company in order to help the farmers rebuild. Just when they thought they had lost everything, Starbucks, came and went to the farms and helped the farmers get back on their feet.

I love starbucks mission statement, and I love starbucks. They want to be the largest purveyor of fine coffee, with unprecedented quality, and they are doing it without screwing anyone. They are doing it while ensuring that their partners are all valued, and that their farmers are not exploited.

Which brings me to the title of this post: Ecoholic.

Ecoholic is a book I bought recently, and so far I've really enjoyed it. Essentially, it's a consumer's manifesto, a good handbook for anyone who is looking to lessen their environmental impact, providing alternatives to modern products used daily which generally avoid the cancer-causing earth-destroying poisons and chemicals.

Now I say, so far I've enjoyed it, however, I feel that Adria Vasil has overlooked some key principles when discussing Starbucks.

On page 99: "NGOs have been pressuring major coffee companies to start selling fair-trade coffee for years now, saying the industry is making mountains off the backs of underpaid farm workers. Starbucks gave in (somewhat) and started selling fair trade coffee in 2002, and these beans now account for 1.6% of its sales (about 2.2 million kilograms). Starbucks also buys about 30% of its coffee direct from farmers, giving growers a bigger slice of the pie by cutting out the middleman. Fair- trade activists want to see that number cimb, and they also want to see the coffee shop start brewing pots of fair-trade java more than just once a month. FYI, three of the Starbucks I stopped in didn't even have fair trade beans on shelves."

I have problems with this statement for a number of reasons:

Starbucks did not give in to anything. The guiding principles of the mission statement, help Starbucks measure the appropriateness of their decisions, and selling fair trade and fairly traded coffee and refusing to be a part of exploitation is the core of the Starbucks culture. Many people seem to recognize Starbucks as another "greenwashed" corporation, however, the goal is to become the "premier purveyor of the finest coffee in the world while maintaining our uncompromising principles as we grow," and this includes treating each other with respect and dignity, as well as considering the environment and communities in decision-making

By extension this obviously includes the farmers, and as is illustrated in the Corporate Social Responsibility report, Starbucks takes their mission statement very seriously.

Vasil also fails to mention the ways in which Starbucks gives back to the communities, such as through the sale of Ethos water, in which 10cents from the sale of every bottle goes towards sustainable water programs around the world. Starbucks has set a goal of donating $10 million by 2010 toward helping children around the world get clean water and raise awareness of the world water crisis.

There's still more that Vasil conveniently ignored: Starbucks uses 20% renewable energy (although, why not bullfrog power??) and their cups are made from 10% (or something like that) of post-consumer material.

Of course, the best choice is to not consume coffee at all considering the fossil fuels etc, but Vasil definitely gives a biased and minimally researched account of the efforts that Starbucks makes. What Vasil should note, is that not only does Starbucks have such a wonderful mission statement, but, unlike many other companies, they are constantly revisiting the mission statement in order to ensure that in being a profitable company, they do not lose sight of the goals, ethics and responsibilities that they have set before them... The mission statement ensures that we don't lose sight of our resposibility as global citizens, while at the same time acknowledging that profitability is undeniably key to everyone's success.

Not to mention that Starbucks has an Environmental Mission Statement too which should have distinguished the company to Vasil as an obvious choice for the consumption of fine coffee which is fairly traded, if not all Fair Trade Certified... that would also be another middleman... woe is me

A quick look at a Starbucks Timeline will clearly show the company's swift expansion, along with their community contributions... i am quite dissapointed indeed.

I think I've found my calling!

2008-07-12T09:26:00.000-07:00

This is a really old post that I found today (September 5, 2009) that I had never fully completed or published. I did go to conestoga college last year, although I do not have a job in human resources management, and I still want to be a doula. So, just over a year after I started this post, I've decided that I am going to do it, and I've begun working on Certification with DONA International! This post ends abrubtly, but I wrote it a year ago, so I won't edit it any. I will blog separately about my journey as a doula... you can find the link if you click on my profile. Or you can find it here.

Although, the sad part is that I don't think that I can answer my calling without a full-time job secured, which requires that I still finish one more year of school, doing my Human Resources degree at Conestoga College... although that is still up in the air right now... I'm considering dropping the program... because I really really want to be a doula! Ever since I've been doing research on childbirth, and what options exist for women, I've learned that becoming a doula is something that I can do, rather than become a midwife.

I've been doing research, but I'm not sure where is the best place to become a certified doula. There is DONA the international, which is the obvious choice, however, their training program is mostly done through correspondence, and as such, there is no help in really setting up your network, and gathering a client base.

Another option is this training that actually happens in Kitchener, which seems like it might be a nice idea! This woman is a certified doula trainer, trained through the Ontario Perinatal School and she offers a range of programs: birth doula training, childbirth educator, and postpartum doula. Eventually, if I got into this industry, I would like to obtain all three of these certifications and then begin my own private doula practice! I would love to have the letters CD after my name!

Well, I've really been thinking about it, and I am so much into this, that I really don't want to even go to Conestoga anymore! I really, really, really want to start taking this doula course! I think that it will be so much more fulfilling than human resourses... although it seems as though being doula, especially starting out, is something that I would do "on the side" rather than as my primary source of income. (which saddens me, because I would do it!)

State of California overturns ban on gay marriage :)

2008-07-08T13:49:00.000-07:00

I know i'm a little late posting this, but either way, it's still cause for celebration. When I saw this video it almost made me cry! I'm so happy for Ellen!

"A Green Veneer on Business as Usual"

2008-07-07T05:12:00.000-07:00

Remember this post??

Checking out my Youtube subscriptions I found this video, and I am eternally grateful.

Go RAN.

Peace, Love and Clean Air

Ok, I've done enough blogging for a while now...time for a nap :)

Transgender man gives birth

2008-07-07T04:48:00.000-07:00

Someone please tell my why everyone is making such a big deal about this.

A woman undergoes a sex change, for whatever reason does not remove her uterus (can't afford to for example), wants a baby, gets pregnant with the uterus not removed, so, gives birth.

What is the big deal? We didn't create a uterus and ovaries or any of that... so would everyone stop treating this man like he is a circus freak? Why has this even become news worthy? that's what I'd like to know...

fuck yeah stephane dion

2008-07-07T04:33:00.000-07:00

I heard on the news this week that everyone in Alberta is flipping out because Stephan Dion is implementing a carbon tax and it is going to be a "massive blow" to the economy.

Ok. News flash world: all environmentally responsible changes are not going to be profitable. This is a time where ethics has to come out on top of the almighty dollar, which I know will be difficult for Alberta to swallow because they thrive on oil sales.

So fucking right Stephane Dion. You implement that carbon tax and you stand your ground.
An excerpt from the article:

The Grit boss, in the city for Stampede festivities, argued neither the Harper government nor the government of Premier Ed Stelmach are doing enough to fight climate change, and that it's his job, as a federal leader, to forge ahead with aggressive policies that ensure a healthy environment for future generations.

and I agree 100% with Dion... Harper is definitely dropping the ball on the environment, and Alberta seems to have little to no interest in environmental responsibility given the circumstances.

While out in Southampton, I heard this on the news and rejoiced inside! I am so happy that Stephane is taking this initiate! Happy Planet!

Southampton

2008-07-07T03:24:00.000-07:00

Ahhhhh to return to the city... incredibly sad since the most beautiful and eco-friendly vacation of my life just ended. I just spent the past week in Southampton, reading "Pushed" and wishing that I had access to the internet so I could more accurately discuss my experience in the small community, and do some Canadian-based research on modern maternity care in Canada. But alas, my life was so hard as I watched the sun set and did nothing but read...

Now that I'm sitting at my desk in Waterloo, I feel like I can't describe the week accurately. (But I'll try)

Southampton is on lake Huron, and it is absolutely beautiful. My family and I have been going there for years, and each time we're there we take a picture by this gigantic rock at our "spot" on the beach. The whole vacation has a sense of nostalgia to it, but being 24 now, it was also a different kind of experience for my sister and I. First, I was able to appreciate the beauty that is Ontario. I experienced 7 beautiful sunsets, swam in clear blue (yet cold) water, and was able to take a beautiful scenic bike ride along the shoreline. Breathtaking. Beyond that, I was able to experience this vacation as something that was eco-friendly! Which was what i loved the most... I think that we drove twice- once with my parents to Port Elgin for dinner, and once to Port Elgin with my partner to do some shopping and bask in the small-town feel of all the small towns. Other than that, there was literally no driving done for a week. You can bike or walk everywhere you need to go in Southampton. Can I also mention the local produce that abounded? The local craft show? The local everything? Wind turbines in the fields on the drive up? It was lovely. Leaving that beauty for the city is shameful! Southampton is the place for the eco-friendly person who can truly appreciate the beauty that is Canada.

This trip was so rejuvenating and really made me come to the decision that at some point I would like to invest in property in Southampton! I would love to own a cottage up there, and I would of course make sure that whatever cottage I bought had a bedroom/accommodations for my parents... they'll certainly have earned it!

I am very thankful to my parents for their polite refusal to take family vacation in Florida or a tropical location. Throughout my whole life they have been firm supporters of travelling Canada, and at the age of 24 I was finally able to appreciate Southampton, Ontario and Canada for it's breathtaking beauty. At this point I feel no need to leave the country for a holiday. I am only concerned with making sure I get one more day in Southampton this summer...

A Culture of Life

2008-07-07T03:22:00.000-07:00

So I just finished reading Jennifer Block’s book “Pushed,” and I have to say that I loved it! The only thing about the book that is a little annoying is that it is written specifically within the context of the American Healthcare System. Block did make reference to Canadian Studies, and I’ve finished this book with a lot of direction with regards to bibliography and my future research.

What is the most disturbing to me is the fact that so many women are being forced into the operating room for unwanted C-Sections. In fact, some women in the states actually receive court orders to undergo C-Sections. The C-Section rate in the US is incredibly high, sometimes as high as 40%... why are so many women undergoing C-Sections? Block tells us that it has to do with Liability. For example, Doctor’s Malpractice Insurance will not cover Vaginal Birth after a Cesarean (VBAC) which forces women who have one C-Section to have C-Sections for all subsequent births.

Block really provides an eye-opening and through discussion of childbirth practices in the western world, however, my favorite part of the book was the last chapter entitled “Rights” which actually discussed the way in which birthing women’s needs are continually circumvented by insurance policies. This was interesting because Block actually ended up focusing an entire chapter on what I consider to be the main issue with modern maternity care: the issue of reproductive rights. Women are daily forced into surgery and procedures (think: episiotomy) that they do not consent to, but that doctors consider to be “necessary.” Women are continuously finding themselves in abusive situations, often characterizing their birth experience in the hospital as rape, or feeling like a piece of meat. This should not be the way any woman feels after her birth experience. I’ve written about this in a paper I submitted for one of my women’s studies classes this year, but I framed the problem within ethics and did not consider the issue of rights. I think that Block does an excellent job of questioning the ways in which women’s rights are being violated time and time again within a hospital birthing setting. She discusses a problem which I have been noticing lately, particularly with the discussion of Bill C-484 which would essentially give fetuses rights. Bill C-484 is called The Unborn Victims of Crime Act and would protect fetuses if a woman is killed and is pregnant at the time. The problem is however, that by giving unborn fetuses rights, we will be getting into issues of re-criminalizing abortions, and now as we broaden our spectrum a bit, we’ll see that women’s rights will be circumvented in the delivery room, disregarding women’s autonomy and doing only what is best for the baby.

Doctors always say “We want a healthy baby,” essentially trying to justify the intervention through guilt and fear. The goal should be happy healthy mothers- if we don’t take care of the mother then how is the baby going to be cared for? How can we allow major abdominal surgery to happen over and over again, sending traumatized mothers home to care for new babies with huge wounds that can take months to heal? What is going on? Women have “…the right to bodily integrity, to self-determination, to liberty, and to privacy” (Block 253) and yet we find these rights repeatedly violated and women going home traumatized.

Why are we as women allowing this to happen to us? Why are women standing for this? I certainly am not. Luckly, I am privileged enough to live in Ontario, where I have a “choice” for my birth experience. Namely, OHIP covers midwives as an option for birth, whereas in the US midwives are illegal in many states. Why a midwife would be illegal is beyond me. A midwife provides everything a woman in labour could need: comfort, advise, strength, coaching, and most importantly, allows the labouring woman’s body to guide the labour, rather than stats and charts discussing risks. The midwife has patience and compassion in a way that the hospital does not, and in the end, allows a labouring woman to have the birth experience at the end which she is so entitled to after such hard work! Every woman should get to experience that orgasm after their baby is born, where they just hold him and the love hormones are released and bonding can occur.

It is said that this release of hormones is crucial to mother-baby bonding. That it is crucial for breastfeeding, and that clamping of the umbilical cord should be delayed a few minutes once mother and baby have bonded and the rest of the blood in the umbilical cord (which is full of important nutrients) has entered the baby’s body. Not to mention that labour is so smart, that the pain is important to help women to know what angles and what positions to use to push, and when the baby is crowning, there is a special sequence of contractions which help the baby be ejected! Why would anyone want to be so meddlesome in such a perfectly designed event? This is what women’s bodies are designed for, and it is being taken away from us, snatched right out from under our noses.

We cannot stand for this, and need to make it an issue of reproductive rights. Block actually mentions her surprise that this issue has not garnered more of a response from bioethicists and reproductive rights organizations, however, as with the discussion of Bill C-484 in Toronto, the focus remains on abortion and birth control, not rights to actually reproduce the way we desire.

So, I would just like to end with some quotes from Block’s book which I thought were particularly compelling with regards to this question of rights:

“Adults seeking medical care have both the right to receive treatment ande right to refuse treatment, and they have the right to know the risks and benefits of each treatment option, including the option of no treatment at all. The legal term is informed consent.” (253)

“You can’t have a ‘culture of life’ if you don’t value the women who give that life.” (256)

“Autonomy is an unlimited, unimpeded negative right. A pregnant woman, any woman, has the right to refuse anything.” (258)

“You have the right to decide on abortion, you have a right to decide on contraception. Don’t you also have the right to decide where you have a baby, where you have your birth experience?” (263)

This last quote, to me, is the most profound. Why is it that feminists seem so hell-bent on making sure that abortion is legal and that contraception is easy to find and yet there is little to no feminist discourse with regards to the abusive treatment of women in labour? This book is definitely a call to action for me; right now I’m blogging in Southampton at the beach, with a very weak internet signal and no land line, however, when I return to Kitchener, I will be spending a significant amount of time doing some Canadian research on the topic- according to Block there is a Canadian Report on Maternal death due out this year, so I’ll have to see if it’s already been published, as well as call hospitals and ask them about their stats for particular interventions. Either way I will be blogging about Childbirth again… to me, it seems considerably more important than access to birth control or abortion… maybe it’s the stage I’m at in my life, but how can we really expect to have abortion access and birth control when women who actually want to give birth are unable to do so the way we want to? Millions of women give birth every day and leave hospitals traumatized and broken down, and still, our main focus of reproductive rights remains invested in abortion… this book is 100% a call to action, a call for revolution and time for women to make demands and demand access to alternatives, and their bodily integrity in childbirth to be respected, or rather, revered. It is a time to reevaluate what falls under the spectrum of reproductive rights, and quickly, maternity care needs to be saved!

Either way, if you’re interested in sources re: bibliography, or a more in depth conversation on this topic, let me know!

Jessica Valenti

2008-06-26T23:02:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I took a trip into Toronto and met up with Christie to go and see Feministing's Jessica Valenti at a panel discussion hosted by the Miss G__ Project. The event took place at Camera Lounge on Queen St. in the "hipster" district of town. Very cool. I met Christie and her friend Sarah downtown and we had dinner (Dan happened to be downtown too, so he met up with us for a bit and that was awesome :)) and then headed over to Camera.

It was really cool to actually see Jessica and be in a room with her for a mature discussion of feminism. She started off by giving an introduction as to why she had started the feministing, and I really enjoyed learning the reason that the site was started. I was introduced to feministing by a friend, and have since loved it because I love to get me a taste of feminist discourse on current events. Essentially, Valenti started feministing because she wanted to reach a different demographic other than the privileged feminists who engage in high theory in universities. She has received much acclaim and criticism for her book "Full Frontal Feminism" because some feminists (including myself) think it's too colloquial. I also didn't have in mind that it would be so brash with the language, and I thought it was very basic. I honestly thought that Valenti's target audience was my demographic (ie: background in women's studies) but in reality, it was brilliantly for women who are still scared of the "f-word" or are feminists, yet in high school you're scared of ridicule, so this mainstream release is a god-send. However, Valenti explained last night that she intended that her books be modeled as guidebooks. They were written in order to introduce feminism to those who would not always identify as feminists, and serve as a handbook for them! It was purposely written in colloquial language so that it could be more conversational. Loved it.

Anyhow, the evening was quite wonderful, as first Jessica talked about her website and then her books and feminism, and then we moved on to a panel discussion which included members of the Miss G__ project Laurel Mitchell, Sarah Wolf, who has a background in Family and Sexuality studies from UW and has been education coordinator and acting executive director of Planned Parenthood Waterloo. There was also Jessica Yee, who is a 22-year old proud indigenous Chinese-Mohawk woman focusing her work on the sexual health of aboriginal youth. Jessica actually writes for Shameless Magazine which is the Canadian version of Feministing. How fabulous! I'm really happy to have a blog I can read which takes a decidedly Canadian perspective and discusses Canadian current events. However, I digress.

The panel discussion touched on interesting topics such as Bill 4-c84 which is an incredibly hard to understand two page long Bill. (I tried to find the text of the bill but I couldn't, so here is a fact sheet for the time being.) The Bill is the Unborn Victims of Crime act which would give fetuses human rights if a pregnant woman is murdered. This was quite interesting as homicide is the number one cause of death for pregnant women, second only to complications with birth. Anyhow, the problem with this bill is that it will cause many grey areas in the law, especially with regards to abortion- will this recriminalize abortion? Also, the bill seems pointless because in Canada we serve our sentences concurrently. So, if you get two convictions of life in prison, then you only spend 25 years in jail, not 50.

The panel also discussed issues of "mainstream" type feminism. For example: many feminists would get flack for addressing Jamie Lynne Spears' pregnancy or Amy Winehouse's crack addiction, but one guest at the event who presumably wrote for Shameless brought up the issue: when can you address these things? Shameless addressed the Jamie Lynne Spear's thing because they felt that it dealt with so many feminist issues and if we are going to try to recruit women for the feminist team, we need to address the pop culture. A "holier than thou, I am so above celebrity gossip" attitude definitely is not going to be the way to encourage our youth not to be scared of the f word.

All in all, it was a great night with lots of interesting and discussion about how to engage our youth. What I took from the night is that feminism becoming mainstream shouldn't cause us to devalue it. It's not only the academics who are feminists, and women who don't engage in high theory can also be feminists and participate in the mainstream culture (to a degree).

Good times had by all.

The Business of Being Born

2008-06-20T16:55:00.000-07:00

This article reenforces my continued skepticism of Western Medical practices. It reminds me why I so passionately continue to research pregnancy and birth in North America. I actually have already watched The Business of Being Born, but I haven't had a chance to blog about it. However, since the American Medical Association is posting that women should pay no attention to Ricki Lake's home birth, expect a post about the documentary shortly. Unfortunately I'm at work right now otherwise I would post the paper I wrote about it this year for one of my women's studies classes.

I am very upset our medical systems are so corrupt that even after conclusive evidence illustrates that 95% of women with low-risk pregnancies who give birth at home do so with little to no intervention, that the hospital is still the ideal setting for birth.

The hospital is not the ideal place to have a baby. First of all, name a mammal who gives birth on their back. I cannot. Mammals all give birth on their sides, standing up, squatting, any position which will facilitate the shape of the pelvis, and make it easier for them to give birth. Yet here we are, at the hospitals, lying on our backs trying to push a baby out. How is that even supposed to work? Who decided this? Who decided that the environment you bring your baby into the world in should be the cold metal sterile world of the hospital? The hospital where you are no longer treated like an ethical subject, and rather, like an object, with pressure for unneccesary interventions to take place... I am just so disturbed that Ricki Lake's documentary is being discredited in this way, when it has been proven time and time again that a midwife home birth is safe, if not safer than a hospital birth.

I personally will not have my baby in a hospital if I have a normal birth with no complications. I would rather let my body do its thing at its own pace, and not have some asshole standing over me with a ticking clock: "you're only dilated 8cm... only 20 minutes left and then you'll have to be rushed into an emergency C-Section!" Oh yes, I would LOVE that. I would LOVE to have an emergency C-Section just because I'm not dilating fast enough... I will post my paper up here when I get home, but I just had to comment on how furious it makes me to see that women are still being deterred from home births when the results are almost always better. You are treated like an ethical subject in your own right, you can play an active decision-making role, you will not be rushed, you can do it the way you want, you can have friends and family around, you can lay in your own glorious bed... why would you want it any other way when you're about to do something so important as give birth? Giving birth is beautiful and amazing and hospitals disregard its significance in women's lives. It's heartbreaking really.

Following up on the York U Sexual Assault

2008-06-15T12:50:00.000-07:00

I was just reviewing previous posts, and seeing that i had written about the York University Sexual Assaults, I did a "blackle" search and came up with some info:

a 45 year old man has been arrested and charged.

An article from York University

And the National Post's Coverage on these incidents.

I am a little dissapointed that since this a-hole was scheduled to appear in court on June 3rd, I wasn't able to find any information about the trial and whether or not he has actually been found guilty of his crimes and what his punishment will be...

Violence Against Women

2008-05-27T14:07:00.000-07:00

This is unbelievable.

I really don't know what to say, however, it's horrifying to think that all those times I've told some asshole who's trying to pick me up or degrade me off I could have been *this* close to being shot or murdered. And all because I refuse to tolerate sexual harassment from some man with some sense of entitlement over women.

This is definitely a sobering event.

Good Food and Friends

2008-05-25T22:29:00.000-07:00

Today was a great day for many reasons, particularly since it involved my food and it involved my friends. Wonderful day indeed.

Today, Dan, Sarah and I went to run a couple errands, picking up some final things before our kitten comes home! (Yes, we are getting a kitten, and I'll write another post about why I wanted to get this kitten) Anyhow, we went grocery shopping, and I am very happy about the purchases I made! When I cashed out my order, there was hardly anything in my bags that was not "real" food, or had not travelled thousands of kilometers to arrive at my plate! After reading the 100-mile diet, I have definitely made a resolution to buy foods which are appropriate for the season, and that are actually food. Basic ingredients. I have always loved to cook, and now, this desire to eat food rather than the "non food" we so often find ourselves consuming is re-inspiring me.

Particularly, it is really motivating me to carefully read the ingredients of the food that I am buying, and really consider what it is that is in those products, are they ingredients that can still actually legitimately be considered food? (An example: a roommate of mine who was minoring in chemistry once told me that margarine is only one molecule away from being plastic, so now I use butter.)

Because of this, I found myself at the cash with "local" asparagus, fiddleheads, beets and carrots. I also am becoming very protective of the "real" food I have, by making sure not to waste anything, which involves freezing really ripe bananas in order to make cake, and making buttermilk pancakes and salad dressing in order not to as the buttermilk)

Today, Karen and Ryan came over for dinner, and everything we had on our plate was natural, literal food, not processed, not preserved, but chopped up, fresh vegetables, and homemade sauces and salad dressing. Sitting down to that meal tonight gave me such a great sense of satisfaction, knowing that I had cooked that delicious, healthy meal with the help of great friends, and I knew everything that was in it. And really, it was just sooooooo good, and really inspired meaningful conversation!

I feel like cooking is becoming a lost art! I have read a lot of literature about how being a feminist means shedding the ultimate "symbol of femininity", that being cooking, and being in the kitchen. However, I think that in the process, we are losing so many valuable aspects of life, such as the bonding that takes place over good food and wine and the sense of accomplishment cooking and serving a homemade delicious meal gives someone.

I tend to view the discussion of feminism and cooking in a different light: Cooking is a way for us to stay in touch with the world around us. It brings friends and family together, and the more we prepare from scratch, the healthier we are and (provided we make largely local choices), we will have a positive impact on the environment, and ensure that our agriculture and sustainability will be preserved.

The meal tonight was absolutely delicious, and it is hard to believe that it was all good for us, contained no preservatives/chemicals, and was made by hand. Amazing. Not only that, everyone enjoyed the meal, everyone left the table happy, and we didn't gorge ourselves. (Probably because there was no MSG in our food, and any similar product.)

This whole afternoon of consumption has made me so excited to read In Defense of Food, and now, I'm going to look up directions on how to can... when tomatoes are in season, I'm going to dice and can my own! I feel like a nerd, but I already feel so much better physically since school ended and I've been eating more natural, real food, and i just really love the idea of knowing exactly where my food came from, and, in particular, the product will be so fresh, and I love cooking!

Wall of Silence Conference Continued- Jane Doe and more

2008-05-22T17:48:00.000-07:00

Toronto Star May 20, 2007 (Section A7)

Police Seek Help after York U assault

Police are asking the public for help investigating an assault on a woman at York University Thursday evening. The assault occurred on the south side of Harry Arthurs Common. Anyone with information is asked to call 416-808-2222.

------------------------------

In my last post on the Wall of Silence of Conference I specifically discussed the increased number of "assaults" occuring on their campus, and that's why this little tid-bit was particularly disturbing and chilling. First of all, this little citation is literally all the publicity the incident was given, and on top of that, the euphemism assault had to be used, making the incident seem less serious than it really is. How about describing it as what it really is: sexual violation. Would that stir up too much controversy? I don't understand why we have to refer to the rape and violation of women as "assault". It does no one justice, and only serves to devalue and depoliticize what is happening to women every day. And on a university campus at that; where we are all supposed to be mature, and dignified human beings. This is a systematic problem occurring on the York Campus, (and other university campuses too) and fairly soon female enrollment is going to go down because so far nothing is happening to ensure the safety of the women.

York University and local media needs to wake up and smell the fucking coffee on this one:
This is a huge problem, and really, it should be getting more than 5 lines buried in the middle of the paper. How many rapes and assaults have their been on the York campus since September? At least three, and that is so unacceptable, and this hiding of it is despicable. What The Star needs to do is write a huge series on this type of behaviour among our men, and, just as was discussed in the conference, challenge the framework in which these rapes are occurring, which is apparently the 'permissive' environment of the university campus.

I am too pissed right now to write about Jane Doe. I could never do her justice...

First post in a series on the Environment

2008-05-15T18:38:00.000-07:00

After reading that Newspaper article in the National Post I talked about a couple days ago, I just finished reading the 100-Mile Diet written by Alisa Smith, and J.B. Mackinnon in order to begin to put into perspective considerations for the future when it comes to our environment and food. Considering the riots around rice, there's no time like the present to begin a foray into local eating. The book was an extremely well written, thought-provoking chronicle of the experiment of eating locally and I throughly enjoyed it.

Now the question is, how does one go about writing about everything in a book within the scope of this medium??It certainly is agood question and I'm not really sure of what the answer is, so I'll do my best to cover the main points in some coherent fashion.

What I thought was of significant note was the author's acknowledgement and understanding that the efforts of two people to eat locally are not meant to save the world, nor would they ever be successful in doing so, but rather, reveal some very important facts about today's consumption habits and, more importantly, the missing factor of traceability of where our foods come from. What I truly hope will happen, is that by many people reading The 100-Mile Diet, not only will the earth become healthier, but this book will inspire thoughts of sustainability and the manner in which it is becoming less and less apparent, particularly from a Canadian perspective.

What I found myself thinking about constantly was the fact that Canada was once a self-sustained country, and now, so much product is imported and exported daily, that we are slowly losing our independance as a country. We are very quickly becoming more and more dependant on other countries to provide us with even simple things such as our produce, when Canada is so abundant with food!!

I once knew someone (who ironically was working towards an enivronmental studies degree) who bought three individual slices of watermelon in February and said "I like me a slice of Watermelon any time of the year!"

Each and every time I think about local eating, I think about this particular example. This person had no idea or consideration for how far those three slices of watermelon had travelled to end up on her plate, which is the scary part. The implications of the likely underpaid labour, and the emissions alone should be enough to force someone to stick to seasonal, local vegetables. Moreso, I would think that the lower quality of product would also play a part. Since the move towards globalization has become so rapid, it is the traceability of our food that has become so distant, as well as the quality. Mackinnon talks about traceability, and said some things that I think are worth quoting:

It's no secret, that we, as a society, have been losing the traceability not only of our food, but of every aspect of our lives. On any given day, chances are high I will have no idea what phase the moon is in. I cannot reliably list my brothers' birthdates, and I regularly use products that work according to principles that I cannot explain... Fifty years aglo, there was still widespread connection to food and the places that it comes from. In the United States, 40 million people lived in the countryside. Many people kept kitchen gardens, raised chickens, or knew a beekeeper... now...legions of modern children have never seen a cow. (55)

How can kids never have seen a cow? How has the cow become the absent referent to the production of milk? The meat on our plates? How have we lost so much connection and understanding of our food?? How have all the things we eat become so disembodied or disconnected? The answer of course is our desire to have everything when we want it, not when it is in season or available. But rather, on demand. It is this "on demand" attitude that is causing us to deplete the earth's resourses at astounding rates...

The average Canadian's food has about 2, 500 kms of travel total. This is truly atrocious. Tomatoes are picked off the vine while they are still green even though the peak time to pick tomatoes in order to ensure the freshest nutrient rich product, is, like other produce, when the fruit or veggie is at its peak ripeness. So, in the effort to have whichever fruit/vegetable whenever we want it, we compromise our earth, which is highly unethical, and we compromise the nutritional value of the food we are consuming, which is just plain stuid.

In fact, a line from Ani difranco's Song Half-Assed says it all:

"Spring is super in the supermarkets/and the strawberries prance and glow/nevermind that they're all kinda tart and tasteless/as strawberries go/meanwhile wild things are not for sale/anymore than they are for show"

Now, at any time of the year, one can find any type of produce in the supermarket, and it is so normalized, that consumers would never even consider how much these purchases damage the earth, and themselves. There is truly a difference between fresh picked strawberries and strawberries shipped from California, but the sad part is that we are beginning to forget that tangible and important difference: Ontario strawberries are infinitely juicier and sweeter than California strawberries. They are a brighter red, they are strawberries the way strawberries were when we were kids and we went with our moms to pick them. The lesson of The 100-mile diet is this tangible difference that we cannot forget, or we will lose our local farmers, and produce, we will lose our self-sustainability.

However, part of the problem is that not everyone even recognizes the problem with eating imported foods and, specifically "non-foods" which have become the dominant discourse of our eating habits. The fact is that these eating habits, (ie: being able to access watermelon in the winter with little to no effort) are becoming normalized, and it doesn't even occur to the average consumer to consider how a product made its way into the store. The 100-mile diet provokes me to consider how every item I eat ended up on my plate, which causes me to make better choices for my health and for the earth. Essentially, because the supermarkets and corporations are taking over everything, we are losing a sense of the possible, and this is very sad indeed.

Mackinnon again:
The garden is a constant reminder that our depleted global environment is linked to the gap we have constructed between our food and ourselves, but a deeper truth is rooted in paleoecology. The science bears witness to changes enormous in scale, the fact that even the continents are work in progress. It can make a person's brief existence seem meaningless; more than that, though, it staggers the mind with the duty of care in our everyday lives. The universe seethed a billion years to give us a row of cabbages, or a quail's egg, or a broken heart. (pp146-146, emphasis mine)

So, I will conclude this post because it is getting excessively long, but not before I say just a couple more things:

Alisa and J.B. wrote often in their book how 100-mile eating was like adding another part-time job to their life- it's actually sad that it has become so difficult to purchase locally, and so they don't maintain that everyone should strive completely to eat locally because it is a lot of extra work, but to make a conscious effort to make wise consumer choices
In all of our consumer choices we need to make a concerted effort to choose foods that are good for ourselves and the earth- which I have begun to do in everything I purchase, particularly with all these "non-foods" disguised very sneakily as food
For anyone in the K-W area, I have found a "Year-round guide to local food" which provides a link in order to help everyone purchase locally: Foodlink Waterloo Region
Read the book. It's an "easy" read, but makes very important points about the state of the earth and self-sustaining countries. Eating locally with preserve the self-sustainability of Canada as well as help save our local farming, and in the end save farm country world-wide- a real eye opener that I reccommend 100%

Coming up:

In Defense of Food- I'll take a look at "food" today (think: Oreo Cakesters, which only have 4 real food ingredients out of about 20 on the list, McDonalds, MSG in just about everything)
The Sexual Politics of Meat- Animals and Women as an absent referent, the connection between the abuse and slaughter of animals and the abuse and butchering of women... an argument as to why every feminist should be a vegetarian. (I've read a couple chapters already, it's pretty convincing)

Research on Pregnancy

2008-05-12T17:04:00.000-07:00

In my continued research on the Ethics of Western Childbirth practices, I have on the way:

The Business of Being Born

Our Bodies, Ourselves: Pregnancy and Birth

along with some literature from the Government of Canada Website...

So Excited!

Pink and Blue

2008-05-12T16:56:00.000-07:00

This weekend after we returned from Sarah's birthday celebrations, myself and a couple friends had a conversation about what it would be like if pink were considered a masculine colour, and blue considered a feminine colour.

Of course,we recognized that we'd still be categorizing colours based on gender, however it was indeed an exercise in the absurdity of colour classification based on gender. Yet we were still unable to take the idea of an MLB team wearing pink seriously... this just speaks to the pervasiveness of colour coding.

Anyhow, today while I was doing my usual reading on feministing, I found this
which I just thought was interesting, and at the same time, ironic.

Of course, I fowarded the link to Derek to pass on.

Enivronmental Research: 100-mile diet, reducing your ecological foot print, conspiracies of the food industry- MSG

2008-05-08T19:31:00.001-07:00

"No nation feeds itself anymore. We all stand in reference to the same global food system." (32)

This is a quote from "The 100-Mile Diet" a book that I recently ordered from Chapters that is going to begin my research into thost big questions: how do we reduce our ecological foot print? Will bike riding and local eating make any difference?

I also plan to read "In Defense of Food" and "Cool it: The skeptical envionmentalists guide to global warming" to help me bring it all together. The author of "Cool it" maintains that all the little steps we take will in fact, only lengthen the earth's life by 7 days. What does he propose as an alternative?? We'll find out soon!

Wall of Silence Conference

2008-05-03T16:25:00.000-07:00

I have just worked 21 hours in the past 30, because I had the wonderful experience of catering for the Wall of Silence Conference at Wilfrid Laurier University, which was a national symposium on sexual violence on university campuses. This conference featured keynote speakers Pamela Cross and Jane Doe. (That's right, the Jane Doe who I've posted about before).

It was unfortunate that I had to actually cater the event, however, we found ourselves in a position where we were requested to serve three meals, host a wine and cheese last night, as well as provide snacks etc for breaks and since the summer has just started we are terribly understaffed. Though I had to work, I had the great pleasure of sitting in on Pamela Cross's address and of taking an hour off from my twelve hour day today in order to attend Jane Doe's address.

I would like to take some time in this post today to recount some of what I heard from both of these women. Sexual Assault on University campuses has become a crisis to say the least, with two residence rapes occurring this past school year on York's campus, and this year at Laurier having the highest number of sexual assaults on campus (reported) this year. In particular, there was actually an assault of a young woman in the quad at the on-campus party which is held during orientation week. (An event, I was working at, and was suprised at the fact that this was not even mentioned during subsequent meetings with upper management. This event was successfully silenced)

Pamela Cross is an accomplished feminist lawyer who has dedicated her life’s work to improving women’s access to justice. Pamela has been a tireless and committed advocate for abused women and community agencies. She is well known and respected in legal reform circles, and among isolated women experiencing violence.
She is presently a consultant working with a number of women’s organizations, primarily as Director of Strategic Planning and Policy with NAWL (National Association of Women and the Law). She was recently the Director of Advocacy and Public Policy with YWCA Canada after working as the Executive Director of NAWL until it lost its primary funder – Status of Women Canada.

She is also the former Legal Director of METRAC, a community agency committed to ending violence against women and children, where she led the development of the Ontario Women’s Justice Network – a unique legal information vehicle for marginalized and isolated women who had no access to private legal advice. While there, Pamela played a crucial role in developing and disseminating a legal analysis of the perils facing women experiencing and trying to escape intimate partner violence. (Taken from the facebook event page)

I only caught the last half of Pamela cross's lecture, however, she talked about some very shocking, and also some very informative issues. In particular, she emphasized the importance of challenging the framework through which we view rape, and equality. For Cross, economic equality is crucially important in putting a stop to violence and rape. Women still only make 73 cents for every dollar that men make, and this is across the board. This is the same pay gap that existed ten years ago. That is shameful, and in the end reflects the way in which society continues to perceive women. If women made the exact same wages as men that would place them on equal footing.The structures that surround women's economic inequality are the very same that surround the structures that support rape and sexual assault. In both cases women are considered to be less valuable than men, both physically and economically. Until women make the same amount of money as men, we can never even hope for any other type of equality.

What i've inferred from this, which makes perfectly logical sense, is that money is power. In my Bodies, Gender and Consumption class, we talked extensively about "the gift" and how a gift places the giver in a position of power, making the receiver feel that they are indebbted to reciprocate. It is in the same way that women find themselves in a positiong of inequality when they do not make the same wages as men. It is the same power dynamic, because women are therefore permanently relegated to the status of "dependant," (even in cases where women make more money and are not "dependant" this wage gap still finds them in a lower position of social standing, and continues to reenforce patriarchy in capitalism- which lets face it, is enescapable at this point since it is so entrenched in the way that we function as a society.)

Cross provided one and only statistic in her address, that being:

within the year 2000-2006 101 men who worked in the military and the army were killed.
within the same time span, 500 women were murdered by men.

Cross talked about the absurdity of this statistic: She has the upmost respect for military workers and for Police officers, but the fact that 500 women die when they enter into relationships, and by comparison only 100 men have died in professions which include death as a high risk is pretty fucked up. Even with a country at war, more women are murdered by men than there are men killed at war. And yet, no one does anything about this! "I mean come on!" (her exact words)

In fact, she also told the story of how a police horse and a brutally murdered woman were both having their funerals on the same day in Toronto. The mayor and other public figures attended the funeral of the horse, but not one public figure was at the funeral of the murdered woman. This says a lot about the way in which our government and public officials view the epidemic of violence against women.

80% of rape is not stranger rape. In fact, in the majority of rape cases, the perpetrator is known to the victim. This is the crucial fact that one must look at when addressing the problem of assault and violence on university campuses. Particularly with the cases of assault that took place at York, the administration's response by putting more security in dorms proves to be unsuccessful. This reaction does not challenge the framework but rather works within it accepting the existence of violence, rather than taking steps which say "men: stop raping women."

Many campuses have began to add extra saftey features to campuses with respect to women's campus safety such as walk-home services, extra lighting and emergency summon buttons. Cross was careful not to devalue these things because psychologically, even though women know that 80% of rape is acquiantance rape, the feeling of being unsafe does not dissappear when you're walking to your car late after a night class or after work. These additions to the department of safety are indeed valuable, but it is the framework that needs to be challenged, and it was that framework that was the focus of the conference.

More on Jane and the conference later, this has been a long post

Considerations for the Future?

2008-04-26T10:11:00.000-07:00

Today while I was sitting at work, I happened to find a copy of yesterday's National Post on the desk, with a cover article discussing the soaring prices of food and oil predicted over the next four years. (2012)

This article was very disheartening and horrifying to read:

- The price of rice jumped by 5% in Thailand ($1000/tonne)
- Walmart is beginning to ration rice as consumers begin to hoard in a panic about soaring grocery prices
- Wholesalers are being forced to raise their prices 15%
- there are riots because people do not have enough food

- BY 2012 the cost of oil is expected to soar to roughly $225 a barrel

The articles discussed these crises and the economical impact we can expect them to have:
- Car companies are going to see their profits dip dramatically as more people opt not to purchase cars, move closer to work, and ultimately aim only to purchase fuel efficient cars in order to deflect this inflation. So many people are now buying cars that there is not enough oil to go around.

It is truly a scary thought that we are coming to such a point in our consumption that there are riots happening because people don't have enough food/rice, and that gas will eventually soar to $2.25/litre.

This is actually horrifying.

I was really thinking that I may have to purchase a car, however, with these types of predictions, I will definitely be waiting until later for this; I hope to be able to purchase an electric car as my first car, and will probably be in my 30s before I actually am able to afford the costs associated with a traditionally powered car.

Eating habits are also going to have to change world-wide in order to avoid high costs for food: particularly, I will be buying The 100-Mile Diet and beginning my committment to local eating.

This was an endeavour I intended to follow through with this summer either way, however, it was propelled mostly by environmental concern. Now, it will be a combination of environmental responsibility as well as an attempt to save money.

I've also seen stories on the news about this food crisis, and restaurant prices will be soaring as well within due time. So, I will also have to more consciously begin to order food from restaurants which order locally.

I guess there is also no time like the present to commit to my decision to eat Vegetarian as well...

This truly is a horrifying situation that we find ourselves in, with a food crisis and the prospect of gas running $2.25/litre.

Hopefully consumers will take heed to this crisis and drive less, buy fuel efficient cars and be more conscientous in their food purchases in order to make this crisis become managable... and hopefully car companies are hasty with the introduction of electric cars on the market....

Update: More to come on this topic. After reading this newspaper article I picked up the 100-mile diet, In Defense of Food, and The Sexual Politics of Meat... I'd like to provide a "plan for action" at least for myself, that I can share as well

Who Killed the Electric Car: General Motors Crime Against Humanity and Mother Earth

2008-04-13T22:07:00.000-07:00

Between watching Who Killed the Electric Car and The Corporation, I have gotten really riled up about branding and consumerism all over again. (and of course, ethics)

I am particularly pissed off at GM, and will never purchase a car made by them. Basically a brief synopsis of the documentary is that The California Air Resource Board (CARB) passed a law stating that a certain percentage of vehicles sold in California had to be zero emissions. This of course gave car companies two options: to comply, or to fight it.

In the beginning they complied, and GM came up with an electric car which as it turned out, everybody wanted. The car was sytlish, "sexy" and fast, with a excellent milage, something like 120 miles per charge. This car could meet the needs of 90% of the population and have zero emissions. This is exactly the type of car that the world needs, but of course, the almighty dollar and the oil companies got in the way. The cars were all leased out, but the contracts were not those with an option to buy out at the end of the lease.

So, what happens is a ton of complicated and corrupt stuff which I'll try to summarize as best as I can, though it may be incoherent:

- the car companies, not just general motors decided to sue CARB. They argued that there was not a market for the electric cars. (even though there were huge waiting lists for a product that wasn't even available) GM took the waiting list of 4000 people and managed to whittle it down to 50 people who were willing to actually sign on the dotted line. They said (paraphrased): "Once we explained all the limitations of the product, no one wanted to sign." Well of course no one wanted to sign, the company began with the limitations of the product. No company ever does that with a product they genuinely want to sell. As Naomi Klein illustrates in "No Logo," it's not hard to plant desire or want for a product in the mind of a consumer, particularly with advertising technologies available today.

- right around the same time that the car companies were suing CARB, the federal government in the US starts to push fuel cell technology. There are video clips of George Bush talking about how fuel cells are the way to the future etc. Well, this is so stupid, and has so many problems. First of all, hydrogen fuel cells are still a finite resource, second is that the infrastructure would be impossible to create to a level at which it wasn't inconvenient for commuters to fill up. There are gas stations everywhere, the infrastructure is there. Hydrogen cars will never become popular enough because the infrastructure isn't there and is prohibitively expensive to set up. So, the cars will never sell, so the industry will never have the resources to create the needed infrastructure. Further, a fuel cell car does not have very good mileage, and requires frequent re-fuelling, which, is prohibitive because of a lack of infrastructure. Hydrogen fuel cells are destined to fail. Even if the electricity comes from a carbon plant, it is still the best option with the lowest emissions. (If one had Bullfrog Power, then everything would be completely emissions free.)

- CARB ruled in favour of the car companies, and struck down it's clean air act, essentially "giving it away" by not forcing car companies to comply. The car and oil companies would end up losing profit through the electric car.

What happened with the electric car was that as soon as CARB ruled, GM started going around and collecting the cars (EV1). No one's lease had the possibility of the buy-out, and though the car owners begged and pleaded to keep the cars, GM reclaimed all of them, and took them to a junk yard to have the crushed and shredded.

The irony of all this is that now, there are a plethora of hybrid cars available. Japanese brands began to make hybrids because they feared a loss of profit if they didn't offer something comparable to the EV1, and GM and American car companies destroyed all their electric cars. After all of this, the Japanese and other imports began to outsell the American companies. So what do we have today? Nissan, Toyota, and (most annoyingly) GM, all with hybrid or electric models available. Car companies are touting the technology of the future when we had the exact car to solve our problems of global warming, and they took it away and destroyed it. That is so morally, and ethically corrupt, it just makes me want to scream. I don't want a hybrid car. I want the zero emission car that we had and then saw snatched away from us and literally destroyed.

It really does come down to the almighty dollar for the car companies. GM committed a crime against humanity and the environment by destroying a car with zero emissions, and now American car companies play the hero with their new technologies of "hybrid" vehicles. It really goes to show how corrupt the oil industry has made everyone. We digging ourselves a huge carbon grave, and yet, GM and all the others are still getting away with their facade of actually caring about the future of the earth. How can a company which claims to care about the future of the earth and climate change try to pass off the hybrid as the technology of "today" when, as was illustrated in the documentary, it is really the technology of "yesterday"?

Now, what really gets me and my hatred for GM, is the most recent issue of Green Living grabbed the last time I was at the Big Carrot on the Danforth. Here is a screen shot of one of the ads in the magazine, and please observe the irony. This is an ad for GM. Of course it is. Touting
their innovative technology for making environmentally friendly vehicles. In fact, I'm surprised that they actually advertise an electric car in this ad (also infuriated as well because they have literally come full circle, at the expense of tax payers money and purely motivated by greed). The amount of advertising that GM does in this issue of Green Living is vomit inducing. The facade that they actually care about the environment is overshadowed by their complete disregard for it about 4 years ago. I cannot view GM as a credible company at all, and do not trust that they *actually* care in any way shape or form about climate change or ethics.
I am reminded right now of Emmanuel Kant, who maintains in his essay "Grounding for the Metaphysics of Morals" that no action has moral worth at all if not driven by the intention to bring about a morally positive outcome. GM's marketing of electric/hybrid/fuel cell technology is nothing but an attempt to ensure that they do not lose any profit to the imports and nothing to do with an environmental conscience.

It was also infuriating for me to continue to flip through the magazine and find an article called "Giving cars the Green Light: Auto Makers are listening to consumers" which, ironically enough, featured GM; they were talked about first, and also had the largest picture of their car. (The page can be found here on page 19) This makes me question the politics behind putting together the magazine itself. How much of a role did GM pay in order to have this feature presented as independant of corporate influence? I wonder actually, how much of Green Living was funded by GM through these endorsements, and the amount of advertising they have in the magazine. Is Green Living a credible source for living a green lifestyle? Of course, all solutions in the magazine are figured through purchases and consumption. Is this magazine really just one gigantic product endorsement? Because that's the impression I get now that I analyze further. The prominence of GM advertising in Green Living is what set off the alarm bells, and now, as I "read" the magazine, I find it's a ton of ads intersparced with articles about the products advertised. It's advertising disguised as literature. This ad really helps to illustrate the illusion of "caring" that GM wishes to convey to the general product, about their values as a company. The representation of "car heaven" as something that actually does resemble the dominant understanding of what heaven is like devalues the notion of heaven along with deceiving the consumer into believing that GM is a company to be trusted. A company who truly does want to "improve air quality" and "protect the climate" would not create and market an electric car, and then take the car off the market and send it to "car heaven" when the oil companies put the pressure on to keep the money in the industry. A company that truly cared about the environment and a moral duty to do what they could to protect our environment would have done everything they could to sell as many of those cars as they could. Unfortunately, as I learned in the The Corporation today, corporations are literally by definition, forced to only consider the bottom line. The money. Apparently ethics has been sacrificed at the hands of the the corporation, and then, when the trends show that an electric car will indeed be profitable, then the marketing and branding frenzy begins again. It seems that this sudden availability of hybrid/electric cars has been driven by expedience. However, this is not to say that I don't think that Hybrid cars are exciting! However, it is just really annoying that corporations deceive the public like this. They have betrayed all of humanity and all of life by selfishly halting production of the electric car, and now that profits are there, the cars are available, marketed as "fresh" ideas, a conscious effort to save the environment. The CARB let down the world when they revoked the clean air act by essentially allowing GM and other American Auto industries to abandon work on electric cars, and redirect focus to carbon and oil.

I believe that I will end it here. But seriously, the documentary is amazing and I recommend that you watch it. It will truly open your eyes to the deceit that exists all around us, particularly with the perception that the technology for the electric car does not exist yet and is far off in the future.

A final note: The documentary shows us "car heaven." the reality is a lot less fluffy and feel good than the ad. It is a god-forsaken landfill essentially, where cars are crushed and then shredded into a million tiny pieces. It is dingy and it is sad to know that all those electric cars were just crushed and destroyed like that, when we had the answer to our problems at our finger tips.

Coming up next: A closer look at "The Corporation," revisit Naomi Klein's "No Logo," with a particular focus on the concept of sponsored individuals on university campuses.

I heart my family.

2008-04-13T10:57:00.000-07:00

So, right now I'm at home, just relaxing and spending time with my family. (So, this should indicate to you that this this is not going to be a feministing post *sorry*)

Last night, we took out pretty much all of the photo albums from about the time that Sarah and I were 5-12. These pictures and talking about memories of the past was really fun, but surprisingly made me feel incredibly sad that we weren't still kids together.

Mine and my sister's life, for the first 10 years at least, consisted of playing together pretty much every day, and we had no other cares in the world. Then we got Candy and it became pretty much the three of us all the time. Candy is present in every event in our life, and now I look at the pictures of our childhood, and they truly seem like a time so far passed, and it's really quite depressing. While Sarah and I were looking at the pictures, I wished I could still be that young, where life was so simple, but now I'm starting to think about things, and how now I'm the same age as my mother was when I was born- it's funny how my life now seems to be overlapping with that of my mother's, and it scares me *a little* that now I'm the same age as my mother was when she was married and had given birth to her first child.

Now that Candy has died, it seems as though a phase of our life has ended, and now Sarah and I have to truly face the fact that we are becoming adults, and that we have to leave our childhood behind.

I keep thinking about the way things are changing, and its making me really sad. I mostly think that it is the death of my dog that is really causing me to reflect so deeply on the way that life is changing, but I can't help it. Being an adult, and turning 24 and losing Candy is really, really, causing me to reflect on both the past and the future, how everything had changed, and how it will all continue to change at such a seemingly fast and unstoppable rate.

Next year, Sarah will probably move to London with her boyfriend, and who knows where I will be? This will be the end of another stage of life, the one which we spent living together all the time- we've lived together all of our lives except for 3, and those 3 years we spent together at the same school. It will be sad to be an hour or two hours away from each other permanently, but we have at least one more year together, there is no guarantee that we will be going our separate ways at the end of the year, but it is a possibility that makes me sad.

I am just feeling so thankful for the family that I have and never want to move too far away from them. I have essentially "become" my mother as they say daughters often do, but I'm ok with it. Sarah has turned out to be like my father, myself like my mother, and we spend so much time laughing about it, it's just become a running joke.

But, more than a joke, I'm glad that we've all spent so much time together and grown to be like each other; I don't know why though, I just really love my family. I miss my childhood, but more than that, I'm glad that we sit around the dinner table for 2 hours and drink wine while we make jokes, talk about memories, and all around have a great time. My favorite part of my family is our dinners. Our dinners have become more than just a "fuel up" and now have become the central part of our family time. Literally, dinner is at least an hour, sometimes two, and I wouldn't change it for anything. We talked about food a lot in my "Bodies, Gender and Consumption" class, and my prof made a comment about the way in which awkward gatherings can be almost magically changed once food is introduced into the mix. In my European family, dinner is central. We have had family dinner from the very beginning, and it used to be *obligatory* especially in those teenage years, but our dinners have evolved to be the background setting for all of our conversations, debates, laughs and cries.

With the possibility that Sarah and I may no longer live together in a couple years, I am especially happy that (if I'm in the GTA and she's in London) we will have dinner together every second Saturday (at least) and that we will always have 50's summers together. (50's summers are the summers where we will go camping for whole summers with our kids while our husbands stay in the city and work and come up on weekends)

These 50's summers are the exact same summers that Sarah and I had for 10 years, and they were certainly the best summers we ever had as children, and we hope to do the same thing with our kids someday, so that we can give them those awesome experiences to remember forever. 50's summers were amazing, and to write about 50s summers would literally be an entirely separate post. I mean, as a feminist why would I want to have 50's summers in my adulthood? It's because my life was so shaped positively by those 50's summers, and they are nothing but happy memories. I honestly want to spend a lot of time with my kids someday, because I want to be able to give them everything my parents gave me, which was most importantly my sister, my dog, themselves, 50s summers, and family dinners where the wine flows freely. Candy is no longer with us, and we have outgrown 50s summers, but I love them so much, and they gave us the happiest memories I have in my life that I look forward to giving those 50's summers to my kids.

That is all. I heart my family. I'm glad that we're here this weekend together.

Bittersweet

2008-04-07T22:23:00.001-07:00

Ironic, that this would also be the day that I'd receive my acceptance to Conestoga for Human Resource Management... almost cruel really, because I don't have the will to get excited or happy about it, it's really all overshadowed by the loss of my baby. I wish it would just go away, I wish this wasn't happening right now

I'll definitely try to change the tune to this blog by writing some feminist critique of something tomorrow or the next- I don't want to get too far off base of the point of this blog.

But I will still probably occasionally write about Candy because let's face it, it's literally like losing a family member. Which is killing me.

Welcome to: No Amount of Stoned Makes you feel ok

2008-04-07T12:47:00.000-07:00

This post is part story, part mourning, and part reflection over the sudden death of my dog this weekend. Two days after her 16th birthday she passed away because of a tumour on her lower back which was paralyzing her. My parents had to make the hardest decision of their lives at 1am on Saturday night... she was too old to survive surgery, but she was such an independant animal, she could never live paralyzed. It would be unfair to her because you can't explain to a dog why they can't walk or sit or do anything that they want to do. My parents described that night to me, and the only thing I truly wish is that I could have been there to say goodbye to her.

How do you mourn the loss of your pet? I feel so lost, I have no idea what to do. I'm terrified of the upcoming experience of going home to my house for the first time ever and not getting on the floor to cuddle with my baby. She has been my friend and companion for the past 16 years. She was the person who would just sit with you and let you pet her to make yourself feel better. No words were ever needed, and just my hand on her fur would make me feel so much better. Every night after dinner, Candy came and Sat on my lap at the dinner table while me and my parents talked, and we would always give her a little treat. She was truly part of the family, and right now I feel a hole in my heart like I've never felt before... and I don't know what to do about it. The only way I feel like I can mourn her right now and do her justice is to sit with my sister, and publish this post so that any one of you who reads this knows just what a special animal she was, and how she truly changed my life forever.

We got Candy when I was 8 years old, and so a significant amount of my life and time involved Candy... she came on vacations with us, she raised hell all over the house... our house is right by the park path, and she was always on guard at the front window, watching for intruders and protecting her loved ones. She was never much for cuddling, but liked a good pet now and then, but always, always wanted a cookie. She had what we liked to called 'A Cookie Problem" and had to be given one every time went into the kitchen, talked to her, or petted her. She was conditioned to cookies, and it was part of her charm. Even in her last week of life my dog was still beautiful. She had slowed down significantly, but was still beautiful and still wanted to have kisses and hugs.

I am at least thankful that the last time I saw her was happy and we weren't fighting (that's right, even we would aruge in a funny dog-person sort of way because it was like we were sisters) rather, I took extra good care of her, and didn't leave the house without giving her a kiss or a hug.

I hope that when she died she wasn't too scared. I hope that she knew I loved her so much, like she was another sister and that I will never forget her. I wish that I could have given her one more hug, one more kiss, and told her that I loved her so much. I wish that she didn't have to leave me, but that is the curse of dogs life spans i guess. They come into your life and love you like there is nothing else in the world that matters, and then you are the one who is left behind.

My father is taking it really hard, and everytime I think about it it breaks my heart. We had to convince my father to get a dog, and when we did, he was not happy. She was only allowed in the kitchen. Then, she was only allowed in the kitchen and the front hallway. Then she was allowed everywhere except upstairs, until eventually she won my dad over, and she slept beside him every night, and woke him up each morning for breakfast. My dog has been such a companion to my parents, giving them someone to love and care for in a way that they no longer can with me and my sister since we have all grown up. My dog took us outside of our egoistic selves every time we saw her and though of her, and talked about her, and she truly made us all better people for having had the privilege of sharing her life with her. Every morning for the past 16 years my dad and my dog have gotten up together, had breakfast together and gone for walks together. Now, the house is going to seem so empty, so sad, with the glaring reminder that a member of our family is missing every time we walk through the halls... for months I will be faced with reminders of my dog when I find her hair on my clothes, and I will have to fight the urge to save it somewhere special as a reminder of the love she once gave me and I gave her.

It's really hard to tell people that your pet has died. People who have pets instinctively understand how devastating it is, but what about people who don't know? I fear that some people are not going to take my grief seriously and that I have to mourn by myself in waterloo when I wish I could just be with my parents...

I still have not seen my sister- she was in St. Catherines with her boyfriend when she got the news, and luckily, my boss told me that he would come into work at 8:30 for me and stay until close so that I might spend time with her. Words cannot express how thankful I am that he has done this for me. I don't know that I would make it through the night so devastated and feeling alone. I will always remember that he covered my shift for me so that I could have the time I need, and I don't know how to tell him just how grateful I am for this. I will probably try tonight and be reduced to a snivelling mess, I really just can't help it.

Candy's personality was one of a kind, and I hope that she is up in heaven right now so that I will be able to see her again someday... I miss her so much.

welcome to: no amount of stoned makes you feel ok
welcome to: the darkness into which praying people pray
welcome to: something like elation when you first open your eyes, just cause it means that you must have finally got to sleep last night

New Colour

2008-03-18T22:40:00.001-07:00

I thought I would change the colour of my blog because it has been said that it is much easier on the eyes if the background is dark and the writing is light. In fact, when I reformat my computer I intend to have it in the inverse in order for it to be easier for me to stare at for hours. Hopefully this will help me with the migranes I have been experiencing lately.

Jokes about rape are never funny. Some people (surprisingly) don't know that.

2008-03-13T21:02:00.000-07:00

The other day I was at a friend's house, and somehow a conversation about Jane Doe and the balcony rapist began.

I got very excited, because Jane Doe is an amazing woman. She set a legal precedent by suing the Metropolitan Toronto Police and winning!!

However, it was quite upsetting to hear some of the opinions of my friends on this matter. The females in the room definitely agreed with my conception of what Jane did, and in particular, why it was so wrong of the police to not have warned the women in the neighborhood that there was a rapist in the area. Oh, yeah, and that she is fucking awesome.

but, the opinions of my male friends were quite different: one friend of mine agreed with the belief that women would be "hysterical" if they knew that there was a rapist on the loose. I couldn't believe this. I love my friends, and have the confidence that they will be able to identify, without any question, that this was so wrong. I don't think that the police needed to publish something in order to warn women, they could have done something as simple as going around individually to each apartment to warn women without causing any media frenzy that would likely scare off the rapist. However, this admittedly would take more time and more effort, and apparently, the safety of women was not valued by the police. How he could just endorse such a stereotype and huge generalization blew me away. I genuinely expected better of him...

In fact, one of my (male) friends said that "another woman had to get raped before they would catch him anyway. So why shouldn't it have been her?"

This is in fact, one of the comments that really upset me. It didn't have to be anyone. The rapist was caught before another woman was raped because Jane took things into her own hands and warned the neighborhood by postering it. And, what a surprise, the rapists parole officer identified him and he was arrested. But no, my friends did not think that this was an argument against the police's case that they had acted wrongly and immorally to all women in Toronto.

Not at all.

It was really quite upsetting to hear this coming out of educated people's mouths. Evenings like this remind me of the steretypes and ignorance that women, and in particular feminists, face every day. It is a cold and brutal reminder of the world's perception of women, rape, and sexism.

That the police were right in not warning the women. In not taking the time to ensure they could take the extra steps to protect themselves.

Anyhow, this gets even sadder.

As me and my sister and partner are about to leave for the evening, another of my friends says "Ok, now don't forget to check and lock your balcony." Very funny.

He says this, not considering that he doesn't know the history of the four women sitting in the room. He doesn't know if any of us have been victims of sexual violence. He doesn't know if any of us go to sleep every night fearing that one day someone will break into our house and it will be the end. He doesn't know though, he is the young and stupid one. So my partner says to me as we walk home... but I don't think that's an excuse. I should use it as a teaching moment but fear being pretentious. Consider it, but then consider that it's not even worth my breath on someone who won't even listen to what I'm saying or take it seriously.

It is mostly a joke that should never be made by anyone. Never make a joke about rape. It is never funny. Especially when 2 of the 4 women had experienced sexual violence... and that's only what I know!

It has been a couple days now that I've been thinking about this event. Rather than being mad, which I would really like to be, it has instead, made me very sad. It has made me very sad that these types of attitudes about women and rape still exist. Especially when sexual violence is so prevalent in our society. Sad and Lethargic... I need some sort of inspiration.

I fear that I am becoming tired, so tired. Why does everything need to be a fight? I am just growing so tired of fighting and am finding myself thinking how I just want to settle down, get a job, live my life, be happy, and most importantly, not fight... but somehow I don't think I have it in me... I might take a break from the fight, but I don't anticipate I could ever abandon it, give it up. But I am just so tired... I have to fight like this even with my friends...

Ahhh Contraceptive Conumdrum!

2008-03-03T16:27:00.000-08:00

So, who would have thought that getting an IUD would have been so much work? Certainly not me, but it has been.

On reading week I went to see my family doctor. The first thing she told me was that, contrary to what my all-knowing gynecologist has said, the IUD is so small, that I would never feel it! Also, a pelvic ultrasound is unnecesary! She was able to show me a "sample" IUD, and told me that no one would have uterus that was too small for that IUD. I would conclude that such a circumstance is rare, not impossible, but she does it every day and says that it is not possible. Essentially my doctor told me that this doctor had gone out of her way to discourage me from the IUD, but not for legitimate reasons.

My doctor informed me that what the OB/GYN had told me was really quite untrue. I expect everything she had told me was a possibility in rare cases, but she made it seem as though these problems were immanent.

She did however tell me that she strongly discourages women who have never had a child before not to get an IUD because it increases your risk of eptopic pregnancy. I asked her by how much, she said it was small but she doesn't have the statistic. So, more questions! Does the IUD increase my risk of Eptopic pregnancy forever or just while the device is inserted? How much does the risk go up? does it go from 0.01% to 0.012% or does it go from 0.01% to 50%? I don't know!!!!

So, i feel better leaving my family doctor because I've got the straight truth, however, I don't know the specific stat, and only don't know if its a permanent effect or one just while the device is in so I still don't know how to make my decision...

Then, on the weekend I'm in Sobey's with Daniel to get some food etc for breakfast, and we go over to the pharmacy and what do we randomly see? Contraceptive sponges! They were like $8, so I think: "might as well try them!" and- I love them. They're not as inconvenient or messy as I thought they would be, and I don't have to fill my body with artificial hormones that could have some sort of long-term effect, and to be honest, it's really quite empowering! In the age of the pill and IUD and all this other Contraceptive technology, it feels almost subversive to pick up on this slowing dying, yet completely non-invasive/permanent method of birth control.

So, on Sunday we go back to Sobey's and I buy the last 2 remaining boxes of the sponges for fear that I'll never see them anywhere again, and then head off to Health Services this morning to make a doctor's appointment! I think we have a winner, and it'll be the diaphragm :)

As if I didn't just blog enough...

2008-02-22T23:28:00.000-08:00

I just finalized a long post about branding and advertising, however, I feel the need to post this immediately. It is 100% related to the previous post yet is local and tangible and I want to blog this while everything is accurate in my mind.

Ok. So, Tim Hortons has come to be a household name in many Canadian homes. They continue to be a household name despite the fact that their coffee is not Fairly Traded, despite the fact that they still have not made any move to introduce a biodegradable sleeve to their repertoire (rather then the double- cupping method), considering that their cups are not biodegradable and Tim Hortons comprises over 60% of the coffee market. Ok. So, that aside Tim Hortons for the most part, even after turning out to be any other corporate giant out to make a name for themselves, is of course, selling a brand, not a product. Consumers don't buy the product, they buy the brand and all its associations of being a Canadian Tradition.

Anyhow, all this aside, they have at least done environmentally conscious consumers one favour by offering a discount if you bring in a travel mug or reuse your previous cup. A ten cent discount- that's how much we are willing to spend to help save the earth. Now we've put a price on it. Anyhow, I digress.

This in fact is just a consequence of Tim Horton's being a stupid crappy corporation.

So, we go through the drive through tonight, and I place the order, ordering mine in a travel mug that is "about the size of a large." We pull up to the window, we hand over the mug, and they pour the contents of one of their large disposable cups into my travel mug.

I honestly could not believe that I witnessed that. Now, this has happened to me three times at three different locations. This is NOT a coincidence. Tim Hortons is creating the illusion that they care about the environment at least a little to give you a ten cent discount off of your coffee to bring in travel mugs, but they really just pour your coffee into a paper cup for efficiency's sake at the drive -thru, and throw it out. They literally trick you into thinking that you are decreasing your environmental footprint! That is so unethical on so many levels! Individuals are working hard to try be responsible, and places like Tim Hortons, "institutions" are deceiving us by having us believe that they would not be so damn stupid and disrepectful- BUT, they are. These corporations also don't give us and our values much credit do they? If we are going to seriously change the world are we going to resist "brands" entirely? Will we be able to find some way to reconcile with them? I am seriously going to be contacting head office about this. You should too. I am so outraged that this is happening- I will definitely be boycotting Tim Hortons.

**Just a side note** Even if for some reason Tim Hortons tries to say that they reuse the cups or some crap then they've got some bigger problems re: Food Safety

**Update** As i re-think this experience i have considered that the drive-thru itself is an issue. In an effort to be eco-friendly the drive-thru's gotta go. You know, emissions.

I just want to tune out all the billboards and build myself a mental shield.

2008-02-21T14:25:00.000-08:00

Here is an excerpt from Klein's book No Logo that actually gave me chills (all emphasis mine)

"But there were those in the industry who understood that advertising wasn't just scientific; it was also spiritual. Brands could conjure a feeling- think of Aunt Jemima's comforting presence- but not only that, entire corporations could themselves embody a meaning of their own. In the early twenties, legendary adman Bruce Barton turned General Motors into a metaphor for the American Family, "something personal, warm and human" which GE was not so much the name of the faceless General Electric Company as, in Barton's words, "the initials of a friend." In 1923 Barton said that the role of advertising was to help corporations find their soul." (Klein, 6-7)

Actually makes you want to gag a little huh?
It's sickening to actually read concrete evidence confirming my gut feeling about advertising and our consumerist culture.

It's not that I want to escape the consumerist culture, I accept that we live in a capitalist society but I really need to find a way to resist this suffocating enclosure I am feeling.

Ever since I started taking my fourth year women's studies seminar "Bodies, Gender and Consumption" I have really started to pay more attention to my consumption habits and those around me, especially with respect to our friendly neighborhood "big-box" retailers (ahem, Wal-Mart) whose manufacturing practices are rife with oppression.

I am finding myself consumed (no pun intended) with trying to make sure that I am making the most responsibly consumer choice available to me at any given time. At the same time I am finding it impossible to escape corporate "brand" faith and gendered ideas of what I as a female should like and be like. I've really got this school of thought right now because I'm adding fuel to the fire by reading No Logo by Naomi Klein. Already, in the first chapter I am feeling chills at the way that companies have invaded our lives in every aspect through their strategy of "branding," where the company, rather than marketing its stuff markets its brand image, doing extensive market research on what their brand represents to the culture, and essentially trying to ensure that it represents the values of the target demographic rather than the needs in terms of the 'stuff' we need.

I feel that even since I was 12 or so a lot has changed, or perhaps I've simply become more aware of my surroundings. No matter. The fact still remains that I feel suffocated by corporations, and quite frankly I am tired of it. Brands have even invaded my home life. I am sitting here blogging on a Toshiba computer, using a Microsoft Window's Processor and using i-tunes to play my music, with a Motorola cell phone beside me in case my partner calls me since I'm expecting him over shortly. Already, four brands and I'm only in my living room (and if I looked around I'm certain I could find more)- If I went into my bedroom or my kitchen then i could list brands for a very long time because they are literally everywhere around me, evoking certain feelings/associations of the brand with particular values. I try my best to ignore the 'brands' but when they involved in everything you do it's hard not to find yourself in the trap of displaced brand faith. (More on this later)

Here is the dilemma I find myself in. I want to buy ethically produced products and locally grown produce which requires me to find a co-op or something along those lines, and also requires that I do research into the Brands I am intending on purchasing. I take four different brands of coffee and research their production standards, where their coffee comes from, and then I make a decision about which brand best represents your values. I frequently try not to fall into the trap after brand faith, but in an effort to make the most responsible consumer choices I have found myself committing to other brands. The ones who's advertising/my third party research deemed acceptable. The bottom line is still coming down to the brand because we have such an abundance of sources for all the crap we as North Americans consume.

I want to reduce waste and I am a big coffee drinker, so I buy a travel mug from Starbucks- Branding again, and also an indicator of brand faith, which i do have because if all their coffee is not Fair Trade Certified, it is Fairly Traded and so far it's the best option I can consistently rely on.

I want to buy beauty products that are natural, not bad for your skin as many of the cosmetics on the market are, so after research you commit to The Body Shop.

Now, let's stop and think about the images that the Body Shop evokes. When I think of the Body Shop, I don't necessarily think of a product, in fact, I have never had a product come to mind, but an image. Think about it? What does the Body Shop represent to you? Ethics? Natural Sources? Natural Beauty? The Body Shop has branded itself as the ethical source for cosmetics, and they have never compromised on price, because they have always had faith in their brand and that it would bring them the sales. And they were right. As were so many corporations.

No matter how i try to fight huge corporations, I find myself in a double bind because I still inevitably find myself endorsing another brand. I am pissed off right now because I am always branded. Avon. The Body Shop. Lush. Yves Rocher. Kiss My Face. Starbucks. Kleen Kanteen. Vogue. The Big Carrot. (Luckily when it comes to close I have been able to escape the brand trap)

It is truly discouraging.

The whole notion of brands and capitalism today is chilling. What happened to going to the store and knowing the clerk, and they would help you out with a personal and community feeling? (Maybe knowing the clerk is a little of a stretch, but i mean, there is no sense of community and we purchase "brands" rather than products ie: is there really any difference between the branded bag of flour or the no name brand of flour; which ironically is also branded?) Companies came to realize that marketing values sold better than stuff, and so, rather than marketing the things we needed we would have the brand and their values marketed to us. This happens in such a manner that I cannot go to the gym at my school without 12 foot high advertisements for Alesse. I also can't use the washroom in the food court without sitting and staring at some stupid piece of crap ad on the washroom door. "This advertising space generously donated by this establishment and Zoom media." Wow. Thank you. You were so generous to ensure that I can't even pee and have that 30 seconds free of some sort of corporate advertising ploy.

So, as I was saying at the beginning of this post, I am desperate for a way to combat this branding! I want to resist but I consistently keep falling back into the trap of Brand faith. It is getting to a point that everything is sponsored, everything has a logo, and I seriously find myself feeling clausterphobic by the invasion of my personal space. So, my stategy for reistance so far is to avoid certain brands like Walmart. I buy local produce. I always try to buy the no-name alternative or to buy a completely different product that does the same thing (ie: no name tonic water and baking soda to clean out stains rather than some heavily branded and chemically laden stain removing agent.) But short of that I am really unsure of what other type of resistance I could really afford just in my daily life (after school is over this term I would definitely commit to something bigger)...any ideas?

I don't know what to think!

2008-02-17T18:17:00.001-08:00

please note that this article seems to contradict this one also published by the Toronto Star.

what IS a 'killer profile?'

2008-02-17T15:31:00.000-08:00

This event serves to remind me that our campuses continue to get less and less safe every day. What is more "baffling" is that the student who went into the Illinois University and open fired in a lecture hall did not "fit the killer profile." There is no way to attribute this individual's behaviour to being previously bullied or a social recluse. He was personable, and he was a student in the school.

The previous shootings (Virginia Tech and Dawson College in Montreal) were "less threatening" because the shooters were described as socially inept, rejects essentially bordering on psychotic. This individual however, was part of the wood work. He didn't act unusual in the days leading up to the shooting, he wasn't known for his social problems, but was in fact seen to have great potential.

I did not read the article released on the day of the shooting, however I just read the article from the Saturday edition of the Saturday Star, and what really grabbed my attention was the headline of "Gunman didn't fit killer profile." This article goes on to describe the promising life that Steven Kazmierczak was predicted to have, and this only served to cause me more distress than any of the other reports of recent campus shootings have given me. After reading this article I put down the paper with the grave reminder that anyone can be a killer and, as this distinct case demonstrates, he or she might not necessarily fit the "profile" of a serial killer. (Thanks, I didn't think that 'normal' people were capable of killing- only the obvious psychos)

This article, and others which discuss our recent campus shootings are problematic for a number of reasons. First of all, it reenforces a stereotype of what serial campus shooters are like. From Columbine until today, all of the shooters have been "abnormal" socially, have been loners who were visibly disturbed. Which in turn also reenforces a false notion of security for students who feel that their campuses are "safe" from shooters because there is no "known" social recluse in their midst.

I finished reading this article feeling less safe than I did when I first began reading it because *shock* this individual did not meet the "killer profile," reminding me that every day each person I encounter on campus could be a shooter waiting for their moment to attack. They just might be really good at hiding the fact that they're planning a massacre. This article left me wondering if perhaps the characteristics of the other murderers were ways for us to displace our guilt about what had happened- this man gives us no excuse or scapegoat.

However, what I find it important to remind myself of is that this threat has always been there, it is the representation of this particular incident which gives it the appearance of a new threat; because the killer did not stand out against the societal norms we have constructed. We know that any day someone could open fire on the school, but we always assume that we'll be able to detect it, that we'll be able to spot the individual from a mile away due to their social tendencies. We almost assume that there will be warning bells when a killer is in our midst, but this article is a cruel reminder that while their may be warning signs that someone is a potential murderer, this will not always be the case. The Virgina Tech and Dawson College shooters happened to exhibit warning signs, however the Illinois shooter was able to blend in with his surroundings and come out under the radar.

I am still trying to figure out how the Star wants me to interpret this article.

Is it an "How could we see it coming? he was 'normal'! Campus killers are psycho, and obviously so" or is it a "We have to recognize that there isn't really one 'killer profile.' It can be anyone."

In all reality, we are reminded by this incident that yes, Kazmierczak was obviously not of sound mind if he was able to open fire in a lecture hall and then shoot himself, even though he seemed to have the appearance of it. Not all killers are going to send off warning bells, and it is a sad fact of life. I'm sure that he did fit the "killer profile," people were simply blinded by his academic excellence and his "normalcy" to see past it. But perhaps we couldn't seen through it, perhaps he was able to hide his crazy extremely well. The lesson remains to be learned that a killer could be anyone, they could be the guy or girl you sit next to in class who is brilliant and smart and who you lend a pen occasionally and discuss feminist theory with. The truth is we never know, and every time there is another campus shooting each university student finds themselves hard pressed to embrace the "community" we are each a part of and begins to wonder if perhaps one day their own life could be torn apart by the person they least expect in the environment they should always feel safe in.

As members of our individual university communities we have an automatic trust for our fellow students, and its sad that once again we are reminded that this is dangerous. However, at the same time, we also reminded of just how helpless we are to stop it! Short of metal detectors, how could his ever be regulated? A university is not as contained and controlled as a high school (even though they are not as safe anymore, and even though we like to think that we are all rational/ethics/moral adults since we've been admitted into the university). I really don't sit here with answers at all, but questions, and fear.

Most importantly I comment on how we are so "surprised" because this individual didn't meet the "killer profile" but we have to remember that just because one doesn't exhibit the "killer profile" obviously doesn't mean that it's not there. It's sad and scary, but it could be anyone and I am a little irritated that this is apparently big news. Perhaps now that there has been an infiltration by a "normal" student of the University in Question there will be more discourse, and as a result, action, in regards to campus safety and the social culture that pervades these attacks.

The Miss Nice G_

2008-02-16T09:14:00.000-08:00

Thursday was the Miss G_ Project's most crucial campaign ever in the effort to get Women's and Gender Studies into Ontario High schools. This campaign encouraged all supporters of the Miss G_ project to call the Minister of Education Kathleen Wynne and ask her when she will be honouring her commitment to include a women's and gender studies program in Ontario High schools. They received an overwhelming amount of calls, and at one point the Minister's answering machine not working. For some stats on why we need women's and gender studies in highschools, check out this video.

Though I know the campaign is over, any call is better than no call!

The OB/GYN

2008-02-15T18:17:00.000-08:00

So, I'm back now to discuss my appointment experience:

The process for getting in to see an OB/GYN is that I have to have a referral from Health Services to the doctor of their choice. If I chose to pursue my own care and choose my own doctor I would most certainly find myself waiting one to two years merely to get my first appointment.

So, due to this doctor shortage i find myself literally at the mercy of the choice that Health Services and the OB/GYN that they choose for me. (And of course, I am foolish and trust the choice of WLU health services- foolish indeed.)

It might have to do with the research I've been doing on childbirth and Western Childbirth Practices, but I really had high expectations of my first visit to the OB/GYN. However when I finally left I felt like less of a person, and it was clear/obvious that I wasn't an individual or a woman to be listened to, but an object to be directed. I had no say in what was happening, no outlet to ask any questions and didn't leave feeling like a free agent better equipped to help me make a decision about my birth control options. In short, I expected to leave feeling empowered and instead i left feeling violated and depressed.

So, I'll just start from the beginning of my day (because it certainly was a whole day):

When I stepped off the elevator onto the second floor, I walked around looking for the suite, and found it very quickly because the office was so full that one woman was actually sitting outside of the waiting room! Anyhow, she immediately informed me that her appointment was scheduled for 11am, yet here she was at 12:30pm still waiting to be seen. So, I'm thinking, this is going to be a long afternoon...

The waiting room was possibly the smallest room i could have ever been, there wasn't even space for me to fill out the paperwork required for a first visit. I felt like all eyes were on me and everyone was watching me fill out incredibly personal and revealing information. Watching me list off like it has no meaning the ins and outs of my cycle.

How often do you bleed?
How much do you bleed?
When was the last time you had your period?
etc etc
Like I was cataloging the habits of my uterus.
Not to mention that it was the first day of my period and the OB/GYN obviously didn't even take the time to read the degrading questions I was required to answer because she did not know that it was the first day of my period.

After I filled out these questions, I went and sat in the hall outside of the office because there was simply no more room in the waiting room for patients to sit.

So anyhow, as it turns out, even though my appointment was scheduled for 1pm I had time to leave and go to class from 2:30-4 and come back for my appointment (which is an indication right away that OB/GYNs are overworked, underpaid and are being bombarded with more patients than they can possibly handle.)

So, before i discuss the circumstances of my actual appointment, I feel the need to comment on the circumstances of the waiting room, which is not the fault of the doctor herself, but more the fault, I think, of Daulton McGuinty and our own health care system.

Many of the women waiting there at 2pm had scheduled appointments at 11am- some of these women were obviously pregnant and found themselves due to the shortage of OB/GYNs obligated to give up their entire day in order to submit to a 15 minute appointment which did nothing to preserve dignity or individual subjectivity. I have never seen so many pregnant women in one room before, it was intensely overwhelming and I certainly felt my anxiety level go up (I attribute this to the fact that I seriously thought I was pregnant last month and this was th first day of my period- I was still recovering from the prospect of housing and raising a child) However, anxiety aside, the overwhelming number of pregnant women just waiting to be called for their turn with this woman seriously gave me the impression of "baby mill"

As I sat in the waiting room I started to become very anxious because the "woman friendly environment" i had anticipated was quickly being overshadowed by the obvious clinical ideals of our Western medical system. I honestly don't know why I would have expected less, because the OB/GYN is still a division of traditional Western Medicine, however, I had high hopes considering that the practice is woman-centered.

Oh, how my feelings of "baby mill", "vagina mill" and woman as object were confirmed once I returned after class.

I'm not going to get into too many details of the actual appointment, but really I think question some of the principles behind what happened in that office.

In particular, I spoke to a nurse before i left for class and told her that my PAP was up to date, and yet, I was told I had to have another one. Why wouldn't Health Services have just forwarded a copy of my record over? If I had to sign a release I would have done so rather than endure my second one of the year. It almost served as a measure of power and control rather than something that done for my own wellbeing, in the way that it was performed and the way that it was treated. It seemed as though this doctor didn't see me as a person seeking educated information on contraceptives, but viewed me as someone to be lectured (and in the end she not only did that, but almost seemed to play some ridiculous mind game with me).

The part about this entire visit is that is seems as though she was intent on making me doubt what i wanted without really offering me options. She didn't seem interested in discussing what was best for me, or giving me an opportunity to ask questions. What really confused me was that she told me that I needed to have a pelvic ultrasound (which makes perfect sense to me) in order to make sure that the IUD would be ideal for me, and really i think, trying to send a moral message home by saying something to the nature of "Now, you may be in a monogamous relationship now, but this is really meant for the married woman" and the tone in which she said this to me really led me to feel that she was implying something, though I can't quite put my finger on it.

So anyhow, after this appointment, and she's really done her job to make me more doubtful and unsure of the choice I'm about to make, I go over to the counter to wait for the form that would refer me to get an Ultrasound, and what does she give me?... a prescription for an IUD.

I feel that my care has been compromised because of the culture behind Western medical practices in combination with the doctor shortage we are currently facing. Unforunately I am blogging from a friend's house so I am unable to cite literature re: the culture behind Western medical practices, but for immediate reference you can consult Foucault's "The Birth of the Clinic." and "Panopticism."

Anyhow, as a result of this dehumanizing experience, I went home feeling like some of my power had been taken away from me. The system is meant to disempower women and (intentionally or unintentionally?) makes women feel like less of a person.(I Personally lean towards intentionally considering the power structures are present in the hospital and clinical setting. It was a very odd experience and a far cry from the woman friendly/woman centered type of environment I had hoped and expected to enter. I think that the whole notion that I would be going to a doctor who specialized in gynecological related issues caused me have high hopes. It is unfortunate that I failed to consider sooner the context of the OB/GYN- it still remains within the one of Western medical care. Essentially, I failed to consider that OB/GYN is not necessarily synonymous with "pro-feminist, pro-woman perspective."

Really, how could it any different than any other clinical setting? It is difficult to find a traditional clinical setting that is empowering to anyone, never mind women within the context of an OB/GYN. It's getting late now, but I'm going to have to do my research on whether there is a different available option in the department of gynecological care.

In the meantime, since I'm toying in my head with the ethics of everything that I experienced at my doctor's appointment, here is an interesting link to a documentary coming out in the states called "At Your Cervix" which critically addresses the teaching methods and then ethics behind them currently used to train OB/GYNs in med school.

Another point I must make about what this doctor told me is that the IUD is typically meant for women who have had at least one child and who are done having children. For this reason (since its being marketed for the presumably hetersexual upper middle class white woman who is 'finished' procreating) they are only available in one size which may not be the right size for my uterus (which is why I am extremely confused as to why I was given a prescription if this is a possibility. Did she determine in my exam that my uterus was a suitable size? If the risk is so low that its not worth checking out? Was she just tired and thought she should just give me what I wanted? Then as if that wasn't enough, this woman just refers me off to another male OB/GYN because he's doing a clinical trial on the IUD, but a smaller size developed for women in my target demographic who have not yet had their first child and are currently waiting at least 5 more years to have children. This clinical trial would require me to submit to a third PAP for the year, blood work, and probably many follow ups for documentation of the IUD. This IUD is identical to the other one except that it is physically a smaller size. I don't know how I feel about all of this. As a result I have a doctor's appointment with my family doctor on Wednesday morning. More to come...

The Inspiration for a Blog

2008-02-15T12:52:00.000-08:00

So, I created this blog about two weeks ago after my first experience at the OB/GYN. I don't know why this prompted me to create a blog, but I was thinking about how this experience went nothing the way that I had anticipated, and after reading Feministing almost every day, I thought that a good place for me to start logging all my thoughts about feministing things wouldbe here, and it would also be an interesting project for me to start and see how it goes.

So, lately I have been playing around with the possibility of different birth control options because a) The Pill causes me many problems, and b) very soon I will be graduating and I'll lose my mother's benefits which are quite awesome. The options that I came down to were the diaphragm and the IUD. This is a link to the most widely used brand of IUD, which is also the one covered by my benefits. Also the same company who makes the IUD discussed later on when I talk about the clinical trial.

So, off I go to WLU health services, which as we all know is always a pleasure and make an appointment with Doctor McFarlane to discuss the pros and cons of the IUD and the Diaphragm. After discussing these things, I decide that I would like a referral to an OB/GYN in order to further pursue the option of an IUD, and off we go...

(Karen just called and it's off to Christie's now, so I'll have to continue the story of my blog inspiration at a later date! More to come!)